According to many in the press, Texas is turning purple. Yeah, sure, any day now.
Can we lay this trope to rest? Texas turning purple is a pipedream used to raise campaign funds from out-of-state donors. Texas is a red state. Texans know it; even the candidates themselves know it but outside money from deep blue donors still pours into the state every election cycle.
These left-coast donors have become like Herman Meville's Ahab chasing his white whale, "to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee." Dude, give it a rest. Texas really doesn't care what you think. Don't mess with Texas!
Don’t get me wrong, we like what these misspent campaign donations do for the State’s economy. Much of it gets spent here and we really appreciate the business. Lots of media buys, and lots of political consultants buying bigger boats and the latest Porsches. But the funds produce few political results of any consequence.
For 28 years Republicans have won every statewide race on the ballot, a clean sweep the whole time. In Tuesday’s election:
The Governor was an 11-point victor this week.
The Attorney General, a ten-point victor.
The Lt. Governor, a ten-point victor.
The Land Commissioner, a 14-point victor.
The Railroad Commissioner, a 15-point victor.
The Agriculture Commissioner, a 13-point victor.
The Comptroller, a 15-point victor.
The 15-seat State Board of Education already has nine Republican seats and will likely get redder with the tenth Republican seat still to be called.
We hold all of the seats on the Texas Supreme Court and the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals.
Republicans also control both chambers of the Texas Legislature.
Republicans hold both U.S. Senate seats and 25 of our 38 U.S. House seats.
The upshot is that Republicans control the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches of the government of the State of Texas.
But, sure as shoot’n, in the next election cycle, a huge amount of money will flow into Texas from gullible out-of-state Democratic donors based on the promises of uber-liberal candidates and their consultants that “THIS CYCLE” things will turn purple. Money will be raised and money will be wasted yet again with no lasting impact. We have a long and ignominious history of this phenomenon.
Hollywood may want these characters but clearly, Texas doesn’t.
Hey, personally, I nominate Beto O’Rourke to be named the official State of Texas Cash Cow. It is time he won something kind’a like a participation prize. He raised and spent about $190 million to lose three races in the last four years. One must work hard to lose that badly and waste that much money. That deserves some sort of recognition.
For bringing that much money into the state to lose it here, the Comptroller should at least send him a certificate of appreciation or something.
Nope, he doesn’t get the Governor’s mansion, but a certificate would do nicely. You know, there are several templates you can get to gen-up something on an ink-jet printer. Heck, we could even spring for the 24-lb paper. It doesn’t even have to be framed. Beto can get one of his capricious non-Texas donors to pick up the framing tab.
This way, he can hang it on his wall and point to it and tell visitors, “See, this is how much Texas appreciates me!”
Who knows, maybe it will be enough to stop him from running again. Oh, dear God, please.